Of all roses, I loves white ones. I generally love roses, but these are really fascinating. And… in my favourite anime “Shoujo Kakumei Utena” where all characters are associated with roses of different colors, white rose is the symbol of the character which feels closest to me. So interesting!
My condition is still passive. When I am overloaded with work, big and urgent, I can’t do anything else. I forget to eat, sleep very little and don’t go outdoors. I need concentration and get angry at the kids when they are noisy or just ask me about something. By the end of it I am longing for the moment when the task is over. I say to myself, “Oh, when I have some free time I’ll do this and that…” But it comes, and I do nothing.
Really nothing. Oh well, I eat and sleep, and may lay in bed with a book or watch TV (unfortunately, there is mostly nothing to watch on Russian TV these days). If my free time is in the morning, I go to a swimming pool – mornings on weekdays is my favourite time because it’s not very crowded. As for housekeeping, I do only things that take minimum efforts. So wast majority of my free time I’m immersed into the Internet.
And even this time in the Internet is mindless, I know that. I only read news in my social networks, one by one. Facebook, then its Russian analogue (Vkontakte), then Live Journal. No writing, just reading. I don’t even write e-mails to my friends because I have nothing to say. Later, when I have better news… I don’t watch movies, don’t check job-searching sites, don’t train my Japanese – nothing that requires to strain my brain again. I would like to write a lot in my blogs, but it is also difficult. As if my thoughts get scattered when I want to write something, and I can’t collect them. News and photographs, that’s what I see.
Photographs are a feast for my eyes and mind. I began following several photographers on Facebook. I don’t know them personally, I think I saw their works reposted by my Japanese friends. Landscapes, flowers and animals are my favourites. All following the season: Mountain Fuji. Cold sea. Clear cold skies. White snow… Russians like to speak about “Russian winter”, but there is the same snow in Japan. Even better, because it’s impossible to see really white snow here in the city. And now when spring is coming there are flowers. Blooming plum trees, amazingly bright. And next will be Sakura season… I want to be there, inside this world of beauty, flowers and sea. Now I can reach it only through these photographs. Thank you, photographers! You help me survive this dull time.
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