Ringtones

Because of my social anxiety, phone calls make me nervous. That’s why I like to have specific ringtones for each of my important people and groups, so that I can know at once who is calling. In addition, it’s fun – I like to play with melodies and decide which one to assign to this or that person. And I don’t care that my taste can be outdated or even ridiculous.

For example, my default ringtone is currently “Appelle mon numéro” by Mylene Farmer – because it means “Call my number”, and because I like her songs. For my family… somehow it happened that all their ringtones are Japanese songs. There is one of Naruto ending songs for my nephew – because he is a fan of Naruto. For my child there is also an ending from Anime that she used to like… now she has outgrown it, but the song is so beautiful and sad, and reminds me of her fragility.

The melody for my brother is a funny song “Dango San Kyodai” which means “Three Dumpling Brothers” – see, it’s about brothers! That’s why I chose it. And for his girlfriend it’s Boy George’s “Karma Chameleon”, because she believes in Karma, Ayurvega and all such things – and also the song is positive.

And for my work contacts I used to have the famous SailorMoon opening. Because it’s a heroical song, you know, and one definitely needs some heroic mood when gets a call from work. But now my managers don’t call me by phone, using e-mail or Skype instead. So I gave the SailorMoon ringtone to contacts from animal protection society whom I help, taking cats to keep at my home. They deserve it — no doubt, animal protection is a heroic thing!

Music

My both kids, daughter and nephew, are sensitive to sounds, and specifically to music. Their favourite music is an important part of their life. They can listen one song endlessly. They would not go out without a player with selected playlist loaded into its memory. And vice versa: when they hear music they don’t like, they suffer (truly, physically).

Because I perceive it differently, I often don’t understand their feelings. It can be really strange. For instance, a musical channel on our TV has kind of retro time when it plays something from 90s etc. Today there was that old song, “I’m blue, da-ba-dee da-ba-dye” – for me it’s fun, but my daughter said: “It’s disgusting! It’s the worst song ever, that could be used to torture me!” And I really don’t understand why? What does she hear in it? For me the sound is absolutely normal. Then, she hates songs playing in McDonalds, most of other cafes and shopping centers, though these are quite neutral.

My nephew is similar, but in his own manner. He likes listening to music while driving, but each time it becomes a problem. He cannot just relax and leave it to the player. He is zapping endlessly, like TV channels, unable to stop on something (even though it’s his own player and his selected list of songs). We get irritated and ask him to stop: Hey, this one is good enough! Just stop! We even tried to bet how long he could stay without switching songs… it was short! Partly it’s because he is shy about his musical tastes, thinking that we will judge him.

The most strange case was one of these days in a shopping center. Me and both kids were buying some shoes. We just left shoe department, my nephew carrying bags. And all of a sudden he dropped the bags at my feet and rushed away, running on a high speed, without explanation! I did not know what to think. I supposed he may have spotted some guy he did not want to talk to… something like that. My and my daughter moved on, and soon the boy called me on the phone, found us and joined us again. When I asked what had happened, the answer was: “It was that song! When it started, I had to run away somewhere I could not hear it.” As for me, I did not even notice what it was – some usual background music, nothing special. Maybe it’s a luck that I am not so sensitive, but it makes harder to understand the kids.

Traveling: not yet

I saw a dream about Barcelona tonight. I’ve never been there, so it was a bizarre place of my imagination, but I kind of knew it was Barcelona anyway. I was so happy there. Traveling, traveling! When and where will be my next one? I don’t know. I want it so much…

My daughter wants it desperately, too (she hasn’t traveled anywhere even longer than me). But our circumstances are still complicated. My brother’s trial took place on Feb 17, and he was sentenced to 1 year of imprisonment. Half of this time has already passed while he was waiting for the decision. But there is still half a year left… For me it means that I keep staying with the two kids and can’t move around the world freely.

Why can’t I move? Oh well. My nephew is 16, but it’s absolutely out of the question to leave him alone at home. It’s dangerous for himself, my apartment and the cats. While my daughter was able to stay alone for a month at his age, he is a disaster even when we are around. No, no!

At worst I can go with both of them, choosing the cheapest (and preferably visa-less) destination. But will it be really enjoyable? Then, in such case I must get a permission from his mother… Such a bother! I’m too tired to think of all these organizational things. So maybe we’ll just wait. And while waiting, I’ll work and save money and dream…