Bitter-sweet vacation

Hello! I am on Cyprus now. I got so tired of work, kids and all kind of worries and decided to give myself a rest. One week on Cyprus, alone. The children are big enough and can cope without me. Of course I’m worried about them, but nevermind… Anyway, we can connect by Skype anytime, to make sure everything is all right.

Cyprus is great, just the right place to rest and relax. The summer heat is gone, but it’s still warm. The sky is cloudless. The sea… Oh, the sea! My hotel is facing the beach, and I can hear the sound of waves every moment. It can make anyone feel happy, and I do feel happy.

But at the same time I feel sad. Right before the trip I quarreled with by Japanese boyfriend, and we parted. It was inevitable, I was ready for that for some time. But it’s still painful. Even though these relationships were mostly virtual (long-distance), it’s still a big piece of my life. A piece of my heart. I know I’ll recover and become fine. I’m a champion of unhappy love, so to say. But now it’s the hardest time. I am lonely, and at the same time don’t want to see anyone. At daytime it’s fine, with new impressions and exploring the new places. But when evening comes… Do all people become more sentimental at night? Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I listen to sad music. Or go down to the dark beach and sit there listening to the waves. The moon rises above the sea, its shape strange and crooked. What will come next? Life is going on…

Sad and lonely Teddy-bear

A pretty Teddy bear thrown away with garbage. Poor Mishka! (Mishka is Russian word for Teddy-bear).

Friendship and treachery

Hello! I am longing to tell about it to somebody because it’s so frustrating. Always sad when a long-term relationships come to an end…

Actually, we were friends since high school: I was 16, she was 15. I don’t know if there is something of the kind in other countries, but here in Russia friendship is very important thing. We keep long-term friendship by whole families: our parents were friends, then ourselves, and then our children became friends too…

We had much in common. First we used to be two romantic girls, dreaming of love and wonderful future. We were drawing pictures and writing stories. We supported each other in time of broken heart (luckily, our taste for guys was different so we never became rivals). Then we both got married, our children were born in the same year (both girls). So family-type friendship continued with our daughters. We met together almost every weekend. We celebrated holidays together, gave each other presents and shared all the troubles. Long phone  talks when we were too busy to meet… Common interests like Harry Potter books and House M.D. show… As the girls grew older, her daughter often stayed at my home for several days, spending time with my daughter. And then it all ended.

Maybe the main reason is my daughter’s condition. She developed kind of panic fear for school and depression, so quitted the school because of it. Formally she is on so-called “home study” system, but in fact hardly studies at all. Well, it’s a different story which I will sure tell later. She is 15 now, this condition lasting from about 13.  My friend sympathized me from the very beginning, giving advice and all that. But little by little… I don’t know how to put it, in fact she never told me anything bad openly. First they stopped to let their daughter to stay at my home. Then their visits became less frequent and at last completely stopped. Now there are only rare talks by Skype or chat messages, which are feeling cold. I would be very puzzled in fact in their girl hadn’t told me the truth.

The thing is, this girl is a very sincere sweet creature. She loves my daughter and loves me, I’m like an auntie with whom she can share her thoughts and moods. She is terribly missing our past friendship and the time spent together. But now she can’t meet us. Only chat or phone talks, but not meeting in reality. The family speaks very evil about us, which is unbearable to listen for the girl. Why? I really can’t understand. Why we became so bad in their eyes all of a sudden? And even if so, why my former friend can’t tell it to me personally? I feel that we will never return the warm relationships of the past. It’s sad, but it’s true. Only our girls may still have a chance.

Sorry, this one was a little long. Sorry, sorry, but I needed to share it…