Facing the winter

I’ve returned from Cyprus 2 weeks ago. It was great! I was happy there in spite of sad thoughts about my relationships. Blue sky every day… Mild sunshine and fresh wind… The sea! oh, the sea! It took about 30 minutes by walking from the hotel to the city itself, and all the way laid along the sea. I was taking in its color, its sound… sometimes waves broke against the parapet, and I could feel drops of salt water on my shoulders.

Tourist season was almost over, so there were few people in the streets. I like overall atmosphere of Cyprus which is very different from, say, Turkey, even though they are neighbouring countries and have much in common in foods etc. Cyprus is more gentle. I felt very calm and relaxed there. I was even seriously considering how I could live there… for 9 months a year, because summer is hot like hell. To rent an apartment and return to Russia every 3 months… But I know it wouldn’t solve my problems. Living like that won’t make me a citizen. Only a temporarily escape – no. I want true escape.

It is always the same: after each of my trips I feel more and more reluctant to go back. The last day, the last hours in the airport is a sad good-bye to one more country where I feel at home. Why do I feel at home everywhere except my own country? Russia’s problem is not just lack of comfort – it’s lack of dignity. And… I feel very insecure. Even there, on the resort, following Russian news, now and then I began to worry. Exchange rate… Rouble is falling against US Dollar and Euro, lower and lower every day. Correspondingly, prices are rising. I am personally lucky to this extent because the company pays me in US Dollars. But what should other people do? And all the same, I can’t be sure about what comes in future.

By the way, my long-distance boyfriend returned to me (if it’s possible to say so about someone far away). After I wrote a good-bye mail to him, he called me by Skype, and we made up somehow. But… it didn’t make me happy. On the contrary, next day my heart was heavy and dull, like “Oh no, all this again!” Maybe when I thought it’s all over, my sorrow was about the past, sweet memories that will never return. I am not angry at him. I like him as a person and would be happy to keep nice relationships as friends. But I guess it’s not love anymore. We know everything about each other. We are like a tired couple who have lived together for years… only we did it separately. He talks about marriage next year, in autumn, but I can’t imagine that. Can’t imagine us married… I don’t know how it may end. Why I continue this relationship? Don’t want to hurt him? Don’t want to lose him? Unfortunately, he doesn’t understand friendship – nothing else but love. Oh no. I only hope for some unexpected turn of events.

And what is the most desirable turn of events? A job. Getting a job abroad, be it Japan or Europe. I have some hope for the translation company I am working for. I don’t feel good about immigration via marriage, at least for me personally. I want a job more than a man…

Well, now it’s Russian winter again. I hate it. I curse each time when I have to walk outdoors in dark hours. With ice under the feet and only half of street lights working, I step cautiously and slowly, like an old woman. New Year decorations appear in shops, but it doesn’t make me happy. How can they think of celebrating New Year here! It will sure bring nothing good.

Bitter-sweet vacation

Hello! I am on Cyprus now. I got so tired of work, kids and all kind of worries and decided to give myself a rest. One week on Cyprus, alone. The children are big enough and can cope without me. Of course I’m worried about them, but nevermind… Anyway, we can connect by Skype anytime, to make sure everything is all right.

Cyprus is great, just the right place to rest and relax. The summer heat is gone, but it’s still warm. The sky is cloudless. The sea… Oh, the sea! My hotel is facing the beach, and I can hear the sound of waves every moment. It can make anyone feel happy, and I do feel happy.

But at the same time I feel sad. Right before the trip I quarreled with by Japanese boyfriend, and we parted. It was inevitable, I was ready for that for some time. But it’s still painful. Even though these relationships were mostly virtual (long-distance), it’s still a big piece of my life. A piece of my heart. I know I’ll recover and become fine. I’m a champion of unhappy love, so to say. But now it’s the hardest time. I am lonely, and at the same time don’t want to see anyone. At daytime it’s fine, with new impressions and exploring the new places. But when evening comes… Do all people become more sentimental at night? Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I listen to sad music. Or go down to the dark beach and sit there listening to the waves. The moon rises above the sea, its shape strange and crooked. What will come next? Life is going on…

Japan: Story of my love. Part 4 – Beach, cakes and other things

One of the days I had no appointments with my friends and decided to go to a beach. I was staying in Hiratsuka city, Kanagawa Prefecture, and knew that there was a good beach in Chigasaki which is the next station by railway. So I took a train to Chigasaki. 

I really have a passion to explore various places by my own, but there was just a little problem. I knew how to ask a question like “Sorry, where is something?” in Japanese, but absolutely couldn’t understand the answer. When I approached a young girl in the street to ask where was the sea, I had a hope she would just point the direction. But she started explaining it in many words among which I could only understand “station”. So I returned to the station and started my search once more. After I asked a group of guys about the beach, they quite reasonably didn’t even try to explain the way but advised me to take a taxi instead. There really was a taxi stand nearby. While thinking what to do next, I discovered there a map of surroundings, very good and detailed. So lucky! The sea could be seen Southwards. Now I knew the right direction and began walking.

The part of Chigasaki lying between the station and the sea was all small streets and houses with tiny gardens. I could see people watering their gardens on that hot summer day. The walk took about half an hour. Houses ended and I saw a highway. By direction signs and some surfers making their way to the sea by cars and bicycles, it was clear: the beach is somewhere there!

Oh yes, it was there. A wast sandy beach and the great Pacific ocean. By the time I already had a short glance of it in Kamakura when we went down to the seaside together with Chie, already in twilight. I was impressed by strong waves and their roaring sound. Here it was the same: tall roaring waves. That beach was absolutely different from those I had known in Russia, for example at the Black sea. Sea is not an ocean, you know. Waves rarely become tall, and a lot of people are swimming. Even more people are lying under the sun, covering the whole place all over like seals. We have quite a little part of sea coast for such a big country, so every summer it is really packed with vacationists.

Japanese beach was totally different. Not crowded at all, which really surprised me. People were coming with families and putting tents to protect themselves from the sun. Children played in shallow water, and fathers were teaching them to surf. Are Japanese all surfers? Anyway, it must be a really hard job to swim in such waves. But I wanted to feel them, I wanted to enter this wonderful ocean.

Here one more problem came up. There were no changing cabins or any other facilities in sight, nothing at all! The beach seemed absolutely wild. (Later I discovered another beach equipped with all necessary things just next to that place). Where could I change into the swimwear? Why am I so stupid? I should have done it beforehand! Oh no… Looking around desperately, I found a sort of a low fence enclosing some empty space. It was deserted, far from the water and could shield me from strangers’ eyes quite well. So I went and climbed over that bamboo fence and quickly changed there. Still don’t know its purpose, but that time it really saved me!

Now I could enter the water! I put my clothes and handbag on the sand, not far from someone’s tent. In Russia such carelessness about personal belongings is simply impossible. When a family or a group of people goes to swim, one of them always stays to watch the things. But here I could leave it without fear. The ocean at last! Yes, I couldn’t swim there but I could play with the waves letting them roll over me and sway me and knock me down. Fantastic feeling! The water was very warm and very salty. The sand had unusual dark colour, looking almost black when wet. I enjoyed the ocean as long as I could and left the beach reluctantly, trying to hold in memory the powerful sound of waves. 

What else I wanted to tell about? There were so many fascinating things I discovered during that trip. Cakes in a cake shop at my station – I wanted to taste them all! Sometimes I bought one when returned from sightseeing in the evening and took it to my hotel room. Other kinds of shops – oh yes, I love shopping in Japan! I bought some clothes and shoes, and presents for my daughter and others. I even had to buy an extra bag to pack all the presents. Among them there were pretty soft toys from a theme shop with goods from Hayao Miyazaki animation. Everybody will be so glad! 

The trip was going to an end. I didn’t want to leave but was eager to share my impressions with family and friends and give them presents. Bye, Japan!  I did return there again several times, but that first encounter was really unforgettable. I still keep some souvenirs from that time. Don’t know when will be the next, but I will sure see you again. It’s a promise!